Not wanting to give a refund is an energy block you impose on yourself. Refunds have always happened and always will. They are part of the energy flow through life and the world, and resisting them stops that flow.

But it can make you feel like a failure when someone asks for a refund because we’ve been conditioned to see refund requests as a failing on our part. We see failure and mistakes as things to be avoided at all costs, things we need to feel shame over. And we buy into that paradigm by trying to impose shame on others who fail or make mistakes often by demanding loudly that they get fired. We internalize that feeling and make it mean that if we fail it must mean we need to get fired too so we get angry about refunds.

Failure leads to learning and growth. At what point in a child’s life does failure becomes something to shame them about? We don’t shame them about learning to walk, we don’t shame them about learning our language. We do sometimes shame them about potty training and eating and thus the shaming for not being “up to speed” begins. Once you see the ways you are allowing shame to creep into your life over failure you can begin to shut it out.

Things to remember:

  • Getting a refund request is part of the flow of energy through the world denying it immediately 100% of the time blocks that flow and is caused by internalized shame.
  • Keeping a person that wants out in your program will bring down everyone’s vibe making willing participants feel bad. You want that energy out of your program.
  • People who commit then back out are in need of seeing how their behavior patterns are not helping them but that is probably not what you teach them about in this or the service you provide. Their behavior is not about you it’s about them and their feelings about themselves not about you.


Fear of refunds is also connected to your fears and blocks around money. Denise Duffield Thomas talks a whole lot about money blocks and reading her books and her blogs has been very helpful to me in overcoming my own money blocks. I recommend her wholeheartedly We all grow up with so many money blocks but they are invisible to us because they are the fabric of our lives, an uncomfortable itchy scratchy fabric.

Getting a refund request can feel like ripping the money straight out of your body instead of your bank account because money is something we fear losing and that fear blocks the flow of energy and money! Being afraid of refunds is also an indication that even as an entrepreneur you are living paycheck to paycheck. The fear is that one refund could bring down your whole financial House of Cards and you’d be homeless, friendless, and alone with your failure which isn’t really true when we really look at it. There are always options to avoid the catastrophe and the best option is to stop living paycheck to paycheck.

Put some distance between money coming in and money going out by building yourself a buffer. This works in business as well as your personal finances. Build a levee or sea wall against the crashing waves of your financial life. That’s the start. That’s why Dave Ramsey says step one is to build an emergency fund. If money goes out as soon as it comes in refunds become painful and you become blocked.

By all means have a refund policy in place, but it shouldn’t be a hill your business should die on otherwise you will become stuck, afraid to make offers in case someone asks for a refund. There will always be people who will step all over your policies. Use the refund request to see the areas you need growth and release the old you so you can build a new free, more successful, peaceful, and secure you. And use it to see how you can value yourself more to avoid attracting people who trample all over you. That energy needs to flow away from you forever.

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